A few short years ago, no one could think of Taylor Swift without thinking of her squad—that is, the crew of women who made frequent surprise appearances at her concerts and on Instagram, including Selena Gomez, Karlie Kloss, and Cara Delevingne. The squad appeared to dissolve during Swift’s Reputation era, which left fans wondering whether Swift and her posse were no longer friends. For some of those friendships, that is the case—and Swift just explained why.
In a new cover essay for Elle, Swift opened up about 30 lessons she’s learned in her twenties. (Swift turns 30 in December.) One big takeaway? Some of those famous squad friendships weren’t so lasting.
Swift describes these as “situationships,” which she has since outgrown. “Something about ‘We’re in our young twenties!’ hurls people together into groups that can feel like your chosen family,” she wrote. “And maybe they will be for the rest of your life. Or maybe they’ll just be your comrades for an important phase, but not forever. It’s sad but sometimes when you grow, you outgrow relationships. You may leave behind friendships along the way, but you’ll always keep the memories.”
Swift didn’t drop names in her essay, but a glance at her social media presence can give you an idea of who she’s spending time with now. She added that surrounding herself with a squad of friends came from insecurities she had as a kid. “Never being popular as a kid was always an insecurity for me,” she explained. “Even as an adult, I still have recurring flashbacks of sitting at lunch tables alone or hiding in a bathroom stall, or trying to make a new friend and being laughed at.”
So when the opportunity came for Swift to throw giant Fourth of July parties with a crew of models and actresses, she went for it. “In my twenties I found myself surrounded by girls who wanted to be my friend,” she wrote. “So I shouted it from the rooftops, posted pictures, and celebrated my newfound acceptance into a sisterhood, without realizing that other people might still feel the way I did when I felt so alone.
